Smoke and Mirrors

I recently had someone comment on my Facebook posts and note how happy I seem and how my relationship with my husband and kids seems so ideal.  I had to agree that yes, I am happy with my life, and yes, I am blessed with a strong, loving marriage and two healthy, incredible kiddos.  But does that tell the whole story?  Not by a long shot.

What we all need to remember is that Facebook, Christmas cards, annual family letters…they’re the highlight reels.  They show what people want us to see, the side of themselves and their families they deem fit for public consumption.  No one uses an awful candid shot of herself without makeup as her Facebook profile pic.  No one posts a play-by-play of her most recent spat with her husband over who was supposed to take the trash out (okay, maybe someone does but we’ve probably all hidden her posts by now).  Those adorable pics of a friend’s baby?  Took seventeen takes.

Don’t get me wrong.  Social media can be wonderful.  It allows us to share photos and updates with family and friends halfway around the world.  We can catch a glimpse into our friends’ worlds and learn a bit more about their lives and their families.

But let’s be real.  It’s like Photoshop for life.  On Facebook or Instagram we can pixilate and edit our lives until they look or sound exactly like we want them to before we make them public.  We can carefully choose what side of ourselves and our families we want to make known and conceal the parts we would rather keep hidden.  The posts and pics that show up in your feed?  They are only a small representation of what really goes on.

Take a look at my Facebook feed.  My hair is styled, my marriage is rock solid, my children are smiling and entertaining.  Those moments when I’m sporting a messy ponytail, yelling at my kids and feeling annoyed with my spouse?  Sorry, not Facebook-worthy.

Does that make me a fraud?  I don’t think so.  It does, however, make me human.  I’m ultimately insecure.  I worry that I’m not attractive enough, not a good enough mom or wife.  But wait!  This photo shows my good side!  And this post tells the world that I’m witty and worthy and wise!  I can sleep well tonight knowing I’ve put my best self on display.

And ultimately, what I’ve gained from doing so is this:  I’ve bragged on my hubby and kids because they deserve it.  They are amazing!  And I’ve posted that pic of myself with my friends because I love the way I am when I’m with them.  The hair is just a bonus.  I hate 99.9% of photos with me in them.  When I share one it’s because I want to capture a moment of happiness or a memory on film.  I DO love my life and the people in it.

Is it all sunshine and unicorns jumping over rainbows?  Not so much.  But dammit, it’s pretty freaking awesome.  And I’m gonna keep sharing the love.

Just remember:  an Instagram filter is worth a thousand words.

Duck Lips,

Ash