The Sun’ll Come Up Tomorrow

This never ending winter has been getting to me.  It’s been cold and grey and dreary, and the past months have brought an overwhelming abundance of shittiness in the form of illness and injuries and death.  Perhaps because of all that’s happened I found myself fighting off my usual seasonal depression because frankly, I had too many other people to take care of.  But the past week or two I’ve felt my mood slip.  That familiar blue feeling has taken hold.  I’ve been wallowing a bit, allowing myself to be lazy and unhealthy and antisocial.

I woke up this morning full of anxiety, irritable with everyone, feeling low.  But then something magical happened.  The sun came out.  The temperature rose.  The air smelled sweet.  And I decided a little self care was in order.

By self care I don’t mean self indulgence.  I’m not talking about a pedicure or retail therapy (though both sound divine right now).  I mean doing what you know is truly good for you, body and soul.  I mean taking time to set your world right, whatever that means to you.

For me, it meant putting in some work.  It meant cooking something healthy and delicious that would make my tastebuds AND my body happy.  It meant cleaning my house because I know clutter makes me anxious.  It meant going to the gym when I really wanted to sit on the couch, because I knew I would feel better if I worked out.  It meant taking both dogs on a walk in the sunshine, even though the puppy is crazy when she walks with her sister, because sunshine and walking and puppies are the best medicine.  It meant hanging out on the deck with my family and a roaring fire to end my day, because…well, that one’s pretty self explanatory.

And yes, tomorrow the weather will be crummy.  The cold and the gloom will return, any promise of spring forgotten.  But I’ll be okay.  I’ll understand what all of us know if we just hang in there: the sun always comes back.  The winter never lasts forever.  Even when it seems like it might, spring is right around the corner.                                              We just have to hold on until it arrives.

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